


It's Only When I Hit the Ground it Causes All the Grief

by fourthlinegrind (moonlightxprincess13)



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: 5+1 Things, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-22
Updated: 2013-09-22
Packaged: 2017-12-27 08:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/976804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlightxprincess13/pseuds/fourthlinegrind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times that Pat fell and the one time Jonny did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Only When I Hit the Ground it Causes All the Grief

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting on my computer for like three months now. Inspired by the Florence+The Machine song "Falling" and my inherent klutzy-ness that led to my ankle splint that spawned this fic in the first place. Alpha'ed/Beta'ed/Edited by the amazing (as always) Derpydrewdoughty(Skinner_girl), so any remaining mistakes are my own.

1\. I've Fallen Out of Favor, And I've Fallen From Grace

"Oh come on Pat you've got to be at least kind of used to this by now." Jonny was standing behind the couch where Pat was curled up, eyes puffy with tears and hugging a pillow so tight his arms were shaking. "Pat…" Jonny sighed and sat down next to him, running a hand through his overgrown curls. Pat sniffed and tucked himself closer to Jonny.

"I didn't do anything wrong." His voice was utterly wrecked. "So I went out for a couple of drinks with some of my friends I-" His voice cut off in an awful, choked sob. Pat had buried himself completely in Jonny's arms, and Jonny just sat there with his arm around him. "I mean I probably said some things I shouldn't have, done somethings that weren't right…" 

"Shh" Jonny stroked his fingers through Pat's hair. "It's okay, I promise you everything is going to be okay." Pat slowly lowered the pillow away from his body and let it drop to the ground.

"This, is this…is this going to ruin my career?" He turned to face Jonny and all color had drained from his face. Jonny watched as he pulled away, his breaths coming short and forced. "Jonny, hockey is all I have." 

"No Pat, come here" Jonny pulled him in close, closer than he ever had before. "No one can take hockey from you, especially not a couple of dumb as fuck reporters from Deadspin." Jonny buried his face in Pat's curls. "I won't let them take it from you." Pat's face was resting against the crook of Jonny's neck, and Jonny's arms were wrapped fiercely tight and protective around him. 

"Okay, I trust you," Pat exhaled slowly and relaxed into Jonny's grip.

"Jesus christ Pat you're gonna get snot all over my shirt." Jonny pushed him off, his cheeks reddening only slightly. 

"Fine, asshole." Pat sat back against the couch, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

"Pat that is fucking disgusting." 

"Bite me." Jonny rolled his eyes.

"You're a mess. Look, I'm not leaving you alone tonight. Go wash your face off and I'll grab us a couple of drinks. I'll even watch Twilight with you and we can call your publicist in the morning and get this taken care of. Okay?" A smile spread across Pat's face, and for the first time that night he didn't look completely miserable.

"Yeah, okay."

 

2\. Fallen Out of Trees

"I really want to know who's idea this was." Jonny was standing with his hands on his hips, his face set in a scowl and sunglasses covering his eyes. "I swear to God Kaner if you or Shawzy get hurt I'm not going to defend you against management." Jonny had started pacing, slowly giving up on reasoning with them. "You're either going to die or get your IR asses traded." 

"Yeah, yeah Jonny keep talking." Pat flashed him a toothy grin. "This kid over here thinks he can beat me? Nah man." 

"First of all I'm only four years younger than you asshole, I'm not a kid. Second of all I can school you in a tree climbing contest any day." Shawzy was stretching his shoulders.

"Five minutes till bets close!" Sharpy was walking between Duncs, Seabs, Crow and a few other guys and waving a stack of cash in either hand. Jonny rolled his eyes.

"Sharpy don't encourage them." Jonny's eyes were still set on Pat, though, wondering if he can bore a hole into the back of his head it would stop them. "Kaner, can you please not do this? I'm serious, I'm not going to lose my winger in a fucking tree climbing contest." 

"Jonny I'm going to be fine. Seriously, I'm a professional hockey player, nothing's going to happen." 

"Toes, calm down. They're going to be fine. Alright boys, take your places!," Sharpy was standing next Jonny and slung an arm around his shoulders as he spoke. "Ready, set…go!" Jonny groaned and covered his eyes, because if he couldn't see it it wasn't happening, right? Sharpy just laughed and elbowed him, listening to the others scream and cheer. 

"I can't believe these idiots." Jonny let his arm fall to his side and watched as Pat and Shawzy flung themselves at their respective trees, scrambling for a foot hold. Jonny had to give Andrew credit, whatever corner of Canada he crawled out of certainly prepared him (or at least his tree-climbing skills) well. He was several feet higher than Pat was, despite the blond's best efforts.

"Maybe if you weren't so fat," Shawzy called, lifting himself onto the next branch above him.

"Oh shut it mutt, you're just mad I have a sicker bod than you." Pat was breathing heavily and his pace was slowing. 

"Come the fuck on Kaner, I bet good money on you god dammit!" Duncs was calling up to him, clearly upset he had picked the wrong person. 

"I'm going, I'm goi-" Pat was cut off mid thought as he clutched a branch. 

"I think I won, I mean, there's nowhere else to go from here…" Shawzy shouted from the last few branches on the top of the tree. Jonny watched as Pat swallowed and looked up at him, his legs shaking underneath of him. Crow and Seabs were high-fiving and making their way over to Sharpy. 

"This would probably be a good time to tell you I'm afraid of heights, right?" Pats voice was weak. 

"You have got to be kidding me, right Pat?" Jonny was moving closer to the base of the tree. 

"No," came Pat's reply. 

"You're not even twenty feet up." Jonny was running his hands through his hair, starting to worry.

"Tazer, he doesn't look so good." Sharpy was standing next to Jonny, looking up at Pat. "I'm serious."

"Christ," Jonny muttered under his breath before inhaling deeply and looking up. "Is there any way you can rearrange yourself and climb back down?" Pat just looked at him, his face pale. It looked like he was actually starting to tear up. 

"Jonny I'm scared." Pat was shaking, trying to reposition his feet. He gripped the trunk when his foot slipped, his heart pounding. Trying to sit on the branch beneath him, he lost control of his balance and fell backwards, tumbling out of the tree. 

"Fucking shit Pat," Jonny ran to the foot of the tree, just barely getting there in time to catch Pat and topple to the ground relatively unscathed. "You scared the fuck out of me you idiot." Holding him bridal style, Jonny pulled Pat in close to him. Pat sobbed quietly, tears running down his face. 

"I'm sorry." Jonny exhaled and buried his face in Pat's hair. 

"Can you stand?" Pat nodded and Jonny let him down, hugging him before letting go. 

"Holy shit, you saved his fucking life!" Shawzy had made his way down from the tree and was holding out an arm to steady Pat. Pat's eyes searched Jonny's, a silent 'thank you' in his weak smile. Crow came up behind Jonny, slapping him on the back

"I think we can all agree, no more tree climbing contests." 

 

3\. And I've Fallen on My Face

Pat slung his duffel bag over his shoulder as the team clambered off the bus. He was groggy, extremely groggy at that, considering he slept most of the flight to California (and drooled all over Jonny) and fell back asleep on the bus (where he drooled on Sharpy as well). Stumbling down the stairs, Pat's foot caught on the last one and he tripped over himself. Fortunately for the sake of his face and front teeth, Seabs caught him by the shoulders and righted him, feet still on the ground. "Shit Kaner you'd think you were completely smashed with all the sleeping you've been doing, and you can't walk either buddy."

"Sh'dup." Pat scrubbed his face as he adjusted his bag, stretching his arms out and yawning. He caught up to Jonny, elbowed him in the sides, and stuck his tongue out when Jonny rolled his eyes at him. "Ready to room with me again fuckface?" His voice was still soft with sleep.

"Oh yeah, party hard Pat. You'll probably just pass out as soon as we get to the room, wake up to eat something, scratch your ass and go back to sleep." Pat pinched his face into a frown. 

"Yeah well, I've become a nocturnal creature of the night. I sleep all day then while you're asleep I bring like four girls back to the room and we bang all night." Shooting his finger guns at Jonny, Pat hip checked him out of way to get to the concierge first. "I'm gonna steal the bed closest to the window!" Pat shouted over his shoulder, already waiting for the elevator with Sharpy and Duncs.

Pat flung open the door, threw his bag onto the foot of the bed (closest to the window, thank you very much) and collapsed face-first onto the sheets, still made, and fell asleep because fuck Jonny, he was tired. Besides, they didn't have to be anywhere until breakfast.

Waking up sometime later, Pat rolled over to check the clock on the nightstand. 3:45. "Fuck," his eyes adjusted to the dark as he saw the outline of Jonny, sound asleep, on the other bed. He tried to get up to please the terrible, awful noises his stomach was making, but realized that he was under the comforter. Pat's stomach knotted when he realized that Jonny must have taken his shit off the bed and tucked him in. 

Untangling himself he made his way to the mini fridge. Pat's journey, however, was cut short when his foot caught on, ew, Jonny's underwear, and the lack of friction caused him to fall and smash his face into the plush hotel room carpet. 

"What the fuck!" Pat shouted, not caring that Jonny was asleep. The lights flipped on as he looked up to see Jonny looking down at him from his bed.

"Pat, what are you doing on the floor?" He was still half asleep, his eyes squinting against the light.

"I tripped over your fucking underwear!" 

"Oh my god." Jonny was laughing, his hand over his face. Pat was sitting up now, rubbing the bruise that was already starting to form on his cheek. 

"S'not funny asshole, you're such a slob." 

"No, you're just a klutz." 

 

4\. I've Fallen Out of Taxis

The locker room was absolutely electric after they exited the ice. Energy was thrumming through Pat's veins and he could almost swear he was shaking, the excitement of two goals, two assists and a shutout. "That's one hell of a way to break a losing streak!" He high fived anyone and everyone that he passed, stopping to smack Jonny extra hard on his ass. 

"Fucking right boys! That's how we do it!" Pat watched with a gleam in his eye as Jonny stripped his gear off. It was a win-a good, solid win at home-and it was exactly what they needed. The entire team had been in low spirits after a series of vicious losses, and it was nice to see everyone smiling. Sharpy was standing at his stall, trying desperately to gather everyone's attention.

"Everybody shut the fuck up oh my god." His voice was full of exasperation but there was a smile on his face. "We're going out!" Sharpy's words were meet by cheers of agreement. "Except you Saader, its past your bedtime, eh?" Brandon just rolled his eyes and tossed and elbow in Sharpy's side as he cracked up. Between the efforts of Jonny hurrying everyone along, and Pat and Sharpy herding everyone into cars they eventually made it to a bar.

It was a place that they could usually visit without too much of a problem, a few spare autographs and pictures on occasion, but tonight was a different story. The bar was packed and their arrival was met with screams and cheers of congratulations. Making their way back to a booth in the far end, they smiled and waved at the gathering of fans before collapsing into a booth. "I'll get the first round then." Sharpy smiled and excused himself to the bar, although it wasn't a long wait before he was served. Jonny watched as some of the other, younger guys broke off to dance with an assortment of scantily clad girls, probably trying to pick up. He smiled into his beer, laughing at Shawzy trying to get the attention of a platinum blonde girl at the bar. His eyes scanned the booth and the table next to him, the bar and the dance floor.

"Has anyone seen Pat?" Jonny's smiled was replaced with a frown as he tried to locate his winger in the crowds. Sharpy sat down next to him, replacing his empty bottle with a new one.

"Not recently no, but the last time I did he was trying to convince Seabs to let him do body shots off of him." Jonny reached for the beer and took a large mouthful as Sharpy laughed. "Go find him, make sure he doesn't get into trouble. Jonny sighed and stood up. His head spun as the alcohol hit his system, he hadn't realize how much he'd had. Taking a moment to steady himself, he made his way through groups of people only to find Pat dancing to a horrendous rendition of a Kesha song and trying to peel his dress shirt off. The kid was a mess. He smiled when he saw Jonny and proceeded to take his hands and place them on his hips, rubbing up against him. 

"No Pat, you're drunk." Jonny was trying to pull away from Pat in the crowd without much success. Pat turned around and looked up at Jonny, giggling.

"And you're pretty. Now dance with me." He threw his arms around Jonny's neck, mostly for balance Jonny thought to himself, and proceeded to grind his hips into Jonny's. He obliged Pat for the better part of a verse and chorus before grabbing his arm.

"You're really really drunk and we should go home." Jonny started leading them off of the dance floor.

"You want to come home with me?" There was a sing-song quality to Pat's slurred words and Jonny could have sworn he was blushing. For a moment, Jonny's heart dropped into his stomach as he looked down at Pat. "You want to make an honest woman out of me?" Pat batted his lashed and Jonny couldn't help but laugh and shake his head. 

"Yes Kaner I'll make an honest woman out of you." Laughter wracked Pat's body so hard Jonny had to hold him up. He waved to Sharpy and Duncs on the way out, letting them know he had Pat and was catching a taxi. The cold air outside the bar didn't seem to have any effect on the level of Pat's sobriety however, he still needed to be assisted into the taxi. "Holy shit Pat get off of me." Jonny shoved at Pat, who was now draped over him in the back of the cab. 

"Nah baby, you're so warm." Pat nuzzled into Jonny's side and Jonny could only giggle, despite the look the driver was giving him in the rearview mirror. Jonny gave the man Pat's address, figuring that he was too drunk to be left alone and he could laugh at Pat in the morning. The ride to Pat's apartment was filled with Pat stumbling over long, complicated jokes and cracking up halfway through. Upon their arrival, Jonny tipped the cabbie a little extra for putting up with Pat's drunken comedy act and went around to wait for Pat. It took him an extraordinarily long time to undo his seatbelt and open the car door. He was still leaning heavily against the door as he opened it and he took a spectacular nose-dive out of the backseat and into the pavement. 

"Oh my god Pat are you okay?" Jonny squatted down and offered Pat a hand. Pat simply rolled onto his side, his face coated in a thin layer of road burn. 

"Yeah, fine." He laid on his back for a minute or two biting his lip and tears at the corners of his eyes. Eventually he worked up the energy and level of sobriety required to stand and make his way into the building. Jonny washed his face off and applied a light covering of antibiotic cream before depositing Pat into his bed.

"I'm gonna pass out in the guest room okay? Let me know if you need anything. Night Kaner." Jonny was shutting the door as Pat replied.

"Night Tazer, love you." 

 

5\. Out of Windows Too

Morning skate was, for once, actually fun. Everyone was in a good mood after a string of solid wins and practice hardly seemed more than a game of shinny. Pat was skating circles around the rookies, the veterans, Coach Q and everyone else on the ice. "Kaner, boy, slow down you're going to hurt yourself," Coach Q called after him as he swiped a puck out from under Shawzy's nose and wove himself between Duncs and Seabs.

"I'm fine I promise." Pat called back as he dangled the puck in front of Crow before tipping it into the net behind him. Sharpy skated over and tapped him on the helmet with his stick. 

"Seriously, don't wear yourself out. We need you tonight eh?" Sharpy smiled and watched as Pat waved him off. 

"I swear. You worry too much old man." Pat skated backwards, taunting Sharpy as he went. Sharpy simply shook his head, refusing to engage him even more. Eventually practice started to wind down and in a seemingly impossibly fast time they were back and changing into street clothes. 

"Kaner, lunch?" Sharpy was grinning widely over at him from his stall. Pat smiled back and shook his head. 

"Sorry man, not today." Sharpy threw a hand over his heart, feigning shock.

"Why must you hurt me this way Peeks?" Pat rolled his eyes and put his (not so neatly) packed bag on the bench before walking back down the tunnel. There was always something Pat could never quite place his finger on about a hockey rink. Even empty he could still feel the energy pulsing through it. Pulling himself up he swung his legs over the boards and sat there, imagining he could hear the sound of skates cutting into the ice, pucks clacking from stick to stick, and even the voices of his teammates. Pat closed his eyes, inhaling deeply and just getting lost in it. 

"Hey Pat I-" The sudden sound of Jonny's voice caught Pat off guard and he jumped slightly in response, only to slide off of the boards and crash into the ice.

"Asshole never again." Pat said, rubbing the hip that took the brute of the fall. He turned to face Jonny, who was laughing rather unabashedly. "You are such an ass."

"Maybe if you weren't doing the whole spiritual meditation thing or whatever you wouldn't have fallen." Jonny extended an arm to help him off the ice. 

"Yeah, yeah. What did you want anyway?" He was brushing the remainder snow off his pants.

"I know you just turned Sharpy down, but you maybe wanna come over and we can get take out?" Pat watched the way Jonny shifted from foot to foot, only slightly, and the way that the tips of his cheeks began to redden-from what he was saying or the temperature out here Pat didn't know.

"Yeah. Of course Jonny." Pat smiled up at him and followed him back to the locker room.

+1. And I Fell in Your Opinion When I Fell in Love With You

Jonny hadn't felt like himself all night and he was sure that Pat had noticed. He was all but squirming in his seat, pressing the lines out of his pants and readjusting his tie every five minutes. Pat talked a lot at first, distressingly in his element in the steakhouse. After a while though, he picked up on Jonny's tension and the conversation tapered off, leaving the two in silence as they waited for their dinners. After several minutes of observing the wallpaper, Pat finally spoke up. "Everything alright? You seem, uh, a little tense." He shifted uncomfortably as he spoke.

"Yeah uh no, I'm good." Jonny cleared his throat and tugged slightly at his collar. Pat raised an eyebrow and eventually Jonny exhaled a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "Okay, I'm just kind of nervous." Pat's other eyebrow quirked up to join the first.

"Why are you nervous?" He scrunched his face, genuinely trying to think of a reason. Jonny rolled his eyes and took a sip of his drink.

"Because you asshole, this is supposed to be a date." He frowned into his glass as a light scarlet hue reached from his cheekbones to the tip of his ears. Pat withdrew into his seat, his cheeks coloring as well.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't realize…" Pat's eyes searched the table cloth.

"No, its my fault. I don't know why I thought this was a good idea." Jonny made to stand up, pushed his chair in and turned to the entrance. "I just need some air, I'll be back." Pat tossed his napkin on the table, following after him.

"Jonny wait," Pat reached him by the time he opened the door and the cold winter air took him by surprise. "This was a good idea." Pat pressed himself as close to Jonny as he could, looking up at him through long eyelashes. Jonny placed his hands on Pat's shoulders.

"Yeah?" A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Pat nodded in response. "Well good, because I think I actually love your stupid ass." 

"Well that's good, because I think I love your's too" Jonny laughed and pulled him in close, kissing him gently. 

"Now let's get back inside, it's freezing out here." Pat laughed as Jonny pushed him back into the building.

**Author's Note:**

> You can feel free to hit me up over on tumblr at fourthlinegrind, sometimes i post ficlets or parts of what im writing :)


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